


Once More With Feeling

by Huntress79



Series: A New Lease On Life [1]
Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Bucky Barnes & Clint Barton Friendship, Bucky Barnes & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Bucky and Clint share an apartment, Clint Barton & Kate Bishop Friendship, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Deaf Clint Barton, Fix-It, Gen, Human Disaster Clint Barton, James "Bucky" Barnes & Kate Bishop Friendship, Time Travel Fix-It, that also could evolve into more, that could evolve into more, though it's dimension travel instead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 21:22:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20070793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huntress79/pseuds/Huntress79
Summary: She’s supposed to be dead, lying lifeless at the bottom of a cliff on a faraway planet. But why on God’s green Earth does her Afterlife look like a half-derelict bachelor pad in BedStuy? And why were two of the most important men in her life here with her?





	Once More With Feeling

**Author's Note:**

  * For [helish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/helish/gifts).

> written for the [be compromised fix-it fest](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/be_compromised_fix_it_fest/) and for [helishdreams](https://archiveofourown.org/users/helishdreams/), who requested that our favorite redhead wakes up in the Matt Fraction Hawkeye verse after her jump on Vormir. I probably play here loose and fast with the comic verse, but I try to keep most of the characteristics. Due to this, Clint has no family, but a dog. Oh, and I extended the Fraction!verse by adding Bucky Barnes and others ;) Title borrowed from the "Buffy" musical episode (no copyright infringement intended) Hope you love it!

“Aww, Lucky, no!”

Natasha’s eyes flew open. She definitely knew this voice. She would recognize this voice everywhere, and even when a million people would start speaking at once. But why was Clint here, in her Afterlife?

From somewhere around, the typical sounds of a dog could be heard, and try as she might, Natasha couldn’t remember if the Bartons had a dog before the Snap or not. Probably not, Laura already had enough on her plate with managing the farm, the household and raising three kids.

Slowly and as silent as possible, Natasha sat up, expecting her whole body to hurt, given that the last thing she really remembered was the seemingly endless fall down the cliff on Vormir. But surprisingly, there was no pain, or at least nothing new. Some of her old scars tended to hurt almost all the time, so she was, more or less, used to feel a twinge somewhere at her body.

Taking a look around, she finally noticed that she wasn’t on Vormir anymore. No dark rocks around her, no steep cliff above her, no dark void called space around the planet. It rather looked like a common bedroom, though whoever lived here wasn’t exactly the cleanest person. From her perch on the bed, Natasha could see several socks on the floor, at least two pair of jeans, some shirts, and other pieces of clothing, all for a man, judging from the cut and the sizes.

“Oh, hey, you’re awake.”

A female voice jolted Natasha back to her (new) reality, and when she looked up, her gaze met that of a young Asian American woman, probably in her early 20s. The girl was rooted to the spot in the doorway, somewhat torn between curiosity and fear.

“You want some water?”

The girl asked, one foot already behind her to all but bolt to the kitchen. Natasha gave her a quick nod, not trusting her voice. Before she could mull more about it, the girl returned, finally overcoming her fear and stepping in the room. She placed the glass on a small table next to Natasha.

“Thank you,” Natasha finally rasped out, before all but gulping the water down in one. “Where am I?”

“You’re in Brooklyn, New York,” the girl answered, squaring her shoulders.

“How?”

“How?” the girl echoed, before connecting the dots in her mind. “You mean how you ended up here?” Natasha nodded. “You have to thank Lucky for that. He found you in the park nearby, right after some kind of lightshow went down there. I’m telling you, I’ve seen some crazy things, but that tops everything.” She came closer to Natasha. “Where are my manners? Hi, I’m Kate Bishop,” she finally said, extending a hand to Natasha. To her visible joy, Natasha took it without hesitation.

Releasing Kate’s hand, Natasha patted the bed next to her, inviting Kate to sit with her. The young woman did, facing the redhead while folding her legs under her body.

“Do you live here all on your own?”

“No,” Kate began with a laugh lacing her voice, “I live upstairs. This here is Clint’s apartment. Get that,” she leaned closer to Nat as if she was sharing a national secret, “he’s not just another tenant here, he owns this building. Got it somehow from some shady guys, along with the dog.”

As if on cue, said dog came bounding into the room, flinging himself on the bed next to Kate. Which Natasha only saw from the corner of her eyes, cause her gaze was trained on the guy now standing in the doorway.

It definitely was Clint, even if his hair was way lighter in color, almost blond, and he also had a better haircut than “her” Clint. But in terms of stature and built, he looked exactly like his counterpart from “her” world.

“Hi, Nat.”

Said woman couldn’t help herself, got up from the bed, and was in two large steps in front of him. For some precious seconds, the two just stared into each other’s eyes (and damn it, even his eyes were exactly the same!), before Natasha pulled this Clint in an almost bone-crushing hug.

They remained in that position for a little eternity, before Clint whispered in her ear. “Nat, let me breathe.” With more than a little reluctance, Natasha did so, but somehow, they kept each other in the circle of their arms, creating an imaginary bubble around them.

All her life, Natasha was trained NOT to show any emotion, any weakness, but right in this moment, she couldn’t care less about the old doctrines. She still couldn’t wrap her mind around the fact that somehow, someway, she didn’t really die on Vormir, but ended up in a different reality instead. Was that some kind of malfunction of the stone? Or was that something that was part of every infinity stone, but somehow got lost in translation, so to speak?

“Earth to Natasha.”

The snap of a finger right in front of her face brought Natasha back to reality, and when she looked up, she saw Clint smiling down on her. From what she had witnessed so far, this Clint was a bit more carefree than hers, and he probably didn’t have a secret family stashed away on a farm in Iowa. For so many years, she had seen what keeping Laura and the kids a secret even from most of SHIELD had done to Clint’s psyche. More than once, she helped him getting back to them under SHIELD’s radar, or kept him stocked on burner phones so he could call them when the missions became nearly unbearable.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Clint asked, once again bringing her train of thought to a halt. To emphasize, he tapped the side of her head slightly.

“Nothing, just thinking,” Natasha whispered, only to feel his finger under her chin, tilting her head up and more or less forcing her to look at him.

“Uhmm, Natasha?” Kate said from her place to the side of them two.

“Yeah, Kate?”

“Clint needs to see your lips so he can get what you’re saying.”

“What?” The single word came out way harsher than Natasha had initially intended, but it was like a shock from her Widow’s Bite. Clint never had troubles with his hearing, or did he? Before she could, once again, disappear in her mind to find the answer, Clint grabbed both her hands and held them to his ears – where Natasha immediately felt the hearing aids.

“Kate, sweetheart, can you take Lucky and do some rounds around the block, please?” Clint requested, and without another word, both Kate and Lucky were out of the room and subsequently the apartment. Clint on the other hand steered Natasha back to the bed. Apparently they had a lot to talk about, and that always went better when they were sitting. “His” Natasha was not different in that department.

“How?” Natasha asked, this time locking gazes with Clint. “How did you got them?” She tapped her own ear, indicating the aids.

“Old injury, last ‘souvenir’ from Dad, got reinjured on a mission.” He took one of them out, placing in in his hand. “That’s my day-to-day set, the one you can buy everywhere. I have another set with my suit over at the Tower, courtesy of Tony and his bots, which is way more enhanced than this one, and which I wear only on missions. And while I can hear quite fine with them, I prefer to see the lip movement to be sure I get it right.”

“Tower? As in Stark Tower?” Natasha’s mind was whirring. If Tony’s tower existed here in this reality, why on Earth was Clint living here?

“Yeah, though we call it Avengers Tower now. And before you ask: except for Tony, Bruce, Wanda, and Vision, none of us live permanently there, though we all have our own floor there.” He chuckled. “Tony finally has given up on convincing us all to move in. More room for him and his bots.”

“And Pepper is okay with that?”

“Her and Tony have split up a long time ago. Sure, she’s still CEO for his enterprise, but other than that, they have barely any contact.”

“And what about you?”

“What’s about me?” Clint gave back, a teasing smile playing at his lips.

“You and Kate?”

“God no!” Clint exclaimed, before giving a full-body shudder. “No, she’s like a daughter to me. And she’s one of the few people outside the Avengers who know who I am, and what I do most of the time.” He looked out of the window before turning his head back to her. “You should see her with a bow and arrows. She’s a natural, and Tony and I are already working on a bow for her. Sooner than later, she’s gonna be replacing me on the team. I can see it happen.”

“And then? You’re going back to Iowa?” Natasha had to ask. The two men might almost look the same, but from what this Clint has told her so far, there were worlds between the two, in the most literal sense of the word.

“What on Earth should I do in Iowa? Except for trying to get along with my ornery brother,” Clint answered, furrowing his brow. “Why would you ask me that?”

“Just so,” Natasha gave back with a shrug. She took a deep breath before continuing. “Tell me more about how you found me in the park.”

“It was like when Thor travels over the Bifrost. A bright light coming down from the heavens, gone as fast as it came, and then suddenly Lucky dashed into the woods, and there was you, lying there like…” He trailed off, his voice catching in his throat.

“Like what, Clint?” Natasha prodded, putting a hand on his forearm.

“Like dead,” he finally grounded out. “I somehow snapped out of my stupor and felt for a pulse, not really expecting one. But fortunately, there was one.” All of a sudden, Clint laid his forehead on hers, just like “her” Clint had done several times over the years, even right before they fought on Vormir. Feeling a bit like a fish out of water, Natasha only put her hands on his shoulders, which were slightly trembling. Apparently, finding her in the park had caused Clint to experience something like shock.

For some precious moments, the two just remained in that position, connected on as many physical points as possible, as if they both needed it to be reminded of the other really being there. And that’s how Kate, Lucky and someone else found them.

“Barton, you better get away from her,” a new voice grounded out from the doorway, blocking even Lucky from entering the room.

“Hold your horses…,” Clint began, not even looking up.

“James?” Natasha, who did look up, exclaimed, surprise heavily lacing her voice.

“…do you really think I wouldn’t run some tests on her as long as she was unconscious?” Clint finally finished, ultimately breaking the spell.

“Really?” Bucky grounded out, his gun still trained on Natasha.

“What tests?” Natasha asked at the same time, to which Clint only answered with flopping back on the bed while uttering a string of expletives under his breath.

“First things first: Barnes, put that gun away. If nothing else, take my word that this,” he gestured in Natasha’s direction, “is, from any DNA-related point of view, Natasha Romanov.” Clint sat up again, sending a small smile at Bucky when he finally put the gun away. “Thank you. Now to your question, Nat. Did you really think that Tony, Mr. Superprotective, would let me live outside the Tower without any invisible enhancements to the apartment?” Natasha nodded, since it really sounded like something Tony would do in a heartbeat. He might appear as if he didn’t give a damn about other people, but deep down, he had a heart too big for this world, with a lot of care for those he considered family. “So I have several connections to J.A.R.V.I.S., and after I brought you here, I asked him to run some tests on you, without alerting the Avengers immediately. But I'm absolutely sure that either Tony or Bruce got a message.”

In the doorway, Bucky visibly relaxed, the tension leaving his body. Apparently, he was coming from a mission, which was mind-blowing on its own, considering the state of his mind in Natasha’s “old” world.

“But… how?” Bucky finally asked, his eyes not leaving Natasha’s, as if looking away would rip her away from them again.

“That’s what we’re still trying to figure out,” Clint gave back before getting up from the bed. “I need some coffee for that.” And with that, he was out of the room.

*********************

About an hour later found the three still mulling over the how and why of Natasha’s sudden appearance. A call to Tony only revealed that he and Bruce were working on it as well, but not even the Sorcerer Supreme could find any logical reason for such an event. But what they all concluded to was that, come hell or high water, Natasha was stuck in this reality. Whatever brought her here was irreversible, starting with the fact that none of them really knew what they were actually dealing with. Was it magic? Was it a side effect of the soul stone? Was it a gift from an unknown deity that considered Natasha as worthy, of whatever? In any way, being here was way better than being dead.

“Anyone else having a headache now?” Bucky asked after Clint ended the call to the Tower. Apparently, both Bruce and Tony used way too many technical terms, no matter which reality they were from.

“Yep, me,” Natasha and Clint answered unison, bringing a small smile to both their faces.

“Anyway, boys,” Natasha continued, gaining both men’s attention, “since it’s more or less established now that I’m stuck here for good, I’d say we leave the figuring out to Tony, Bruce and the bots.”

“No bad idea,” came from somewhere behind Bucky’s forearms where he had laid his head. Clint only nodded in assent. “And what do you suggest we do instead, Natalia?”

“Nothing too strenuous, in any way,” Natasha answered, a soft smile returning to her lips once she heard the former Asset exhaling in a sigh. “You know, something like catching up on sleep.” At that, Bucky looked up, and Natasha couldn’t help herself and winked at him.

“Speaking of sleep,” Kate’s voice came from the doorway to the kitchen, “if you want, Natasha, you can bunk at my place.”

“No, Kate,” Clint gave back before Nat even had the time to consider the offer. “Buck and I can bunk together, and Nat can have my room. Wouldn’t be the first time…” Somehow, Clint caught himself before continuing, his voice suddenly having a raw edge to it. What on Earth had happened to this world’s Natasha to cause such reactions, especially in Clint?

*********************

The next morning came around, and while she felt rested, Natasha’s brain was anything than that. She needed to find out what had happened to her counterpart in this reality, and why Clint had to catch himself from talking about her, pain plain visible on his features.

At first, she approached Kate, but the young woman couldn’t really help her. According to her, she only had heard the name before and assumed that Natasha was an ex-girlfriend of Clint and that their liaison didn’t end well.

The boys were already gone at that time, Bucky for a debrief of his latest mission, Clint on a recon mission. And so, Natasha resorted to let things coming to her at their own speed and decided to learn more about the reality she was in instead.

For that, she asked Kate to take her along when the young woman announced that she was going into Midtown. But while Kate went to her part-time work, Natasha went to the Main Branch of the Public Library on Fifth Avenue, intent on getting a grip on her new lease on life.

By sheer luck, the prepaid mobile Kate had handed her before they parted ways began to vibrate in her jacket pocket the moment she left the library several hours later. With a cryptic smile on her lips, Natasha finally answered.

“Hey, Nat,” Bucky’s voice came over the speaker. “Where are you? Kate messaged me with the number, but not your location.” He paused, and Natasha could hear the motor of a bike starting. “New York might look the same to you as in your reality, but getting around is a different planet, so to speak.”

“Main Building of the Public Library on Fifth, main entrance,” Natasha answered. “You know any good coffee shop around here?”

“Yeah, but only because Clint has this side goal of testing them all.” Bucky chuckled, a sound that Natasha hadn’t heard before, but that she liked instantly. “Once he hears that a new shop opens in the greater New York area, he has to check it out, and of course, one of us has to tag along, if only to keep him in check.” The smile was literally audible over the phone, and Natasha couldn’t help but smile as well. Apparently, some things never changed, no matter which reality, and Clint being a coffee junkie was one of them.

“Alright, be there in a couple of minutes,” Bucky concluded, and before Natasha could even think of any kind of response, ended the call.

True to his words, Bucky pulled up to the curb a few minutes later, and Natasha was at his side before he even got around to remove the helmet. The bike was like a tailored glove – perfect fitting its driver to the last detail. Sleek, in allover black, with red, silver and gold elements all but racing over the surface. His helmet was of the same color scheme, and Natasha allowed herself a moment of weakness on seeing it all up, close and personal. From the few moments she had spent with this world’s Bucky so far, he was like a 100 % opposite to the one she knew from her world.

“Hey, doll, ready for the ride of your life?” Bucky’s voice, tinged with just a hint of amusement, broke through her train of thought. Only then, Natasha noticed that he was holding out a similar helmet to his own for her.

“Ride of my life?” she echoed while taking the offered accessory. “What if I say that I had the pleasure to ride both in a car and on a bike with Steve in my reality?”

“Well, with all due respect to your Steve, but this baby,” he patted the seat, “is a whole lot of different experience.”

“Give it up, Barnes, you had me at ‘ride’,” Natasha finally quipped back, enjoying that banter maybe a bit too much. The smile she got from Bucky was blinding, and she could all but hear “her” Steve telling her about some of Bucky’s traits from before the war, including that dazzling smile, while he was holed up in the hospital after the DC disaster.

They both got on the bike, and in no time, they stopped at a small corner café. But instead of following Natasha’s initial plan of sitting there for a while, Bucky ordered two beverages for them and motioned for her to follow him across the street, where a small park was located. One of the many benches there was backed against a large tree, and of course, the sniper in him chose this one immediately.

“So,” he began, “what were you doing at the library? Looking for answers?”

“Yeah, more or less, though I just wanted to get a grip on here,” she made a round-about move with her hand, “before I might tell any of you of things that hadn’t happened here, or in a different way.”

“Are there differences?”

“Absolutely,” Natasha began in a cryptic way, a light smile on her lips. “I’m currently looking at one big difference.”

“Me?” Bucky pointed a finger at himself, which Nat answered with a nod. “Why?”

For some heartbeats, Natasha debated with herself about how much she should tell him about the haunting tale of his counterpart in her world. Sure, she could see that this Bucky also had quite some stories to tell on his own, but given his character, they either weren’t as bad as for the other guy or this Bucky had access to better psychiatrists.

Anyway, before she could begin, Bucky asked her a question of his own.

“Before we talk more about a different me, tell me one thing, Natalia – what the heck did you do to end up in a completely different reality?”

“Simple: I died, sacrificing myself for the greater good and for the family I found there.” She tried to keep her voice even, but it was a tough gig. The thought of leaving them all behind finally caught up with her. She only hoped that her sacrifice was what they all needed to pull through and vanquish Thanos once and for all.

“Earth to Natalia?” Bucky teased, a soft smile playing at his lips.

“I’m here, I was…”

“…caught up in memories?” He nodded. “Yep, been there, done that. It’s hard when you come back from being a killing machine with no free will to being a human being again, and your best friend from before it all is failing at realizing that the only thing that the guy he remembers and I share are the looks.” Bucky looked down, trying to get his own emotions under control. “That’s why I’m living with Clint and Kate in Bed-Stuy, and not at the Tower with Steve, Tony and the others.” He suddenly scrunched up his nose, his eyes widening as if he just got the meaning of her explanation. “Hold on: you died in your reality?” Natasha nodded. “And Clint and I let you do that?”

“I didn’t leave the Clint in my reality exactly a chance to change my mind,” Natasha began, knowing that she was about to open the proverbial can of worms. “He and I fought about it, like a real physical fight, and in the end, I made the decision for both of us.” She couldn’t go into the gory detail that they were both hanging by a literal thread over the cliff before she let go.

“Well, it does sound like you, but your Clint is a different man, too, right?” Again, Natasha only nodded. “And where was I?”

“You were dead, one of the countless victims of what we called ‘the Snap’.” She swallowed before continuing. “Have you ever heard about the name Thanos or the infinity stones?”

“Not the name, but Strange explained it to us, or at least he tried, when Loki showed up and asked us to hide a blue glowing cube.”

“The Tesseract,” Natasha supplied, finally overcoming the fear that she would change the fate of this reality with saying anything. If she wasn’t terribly wrong, the fact that she had arrived here was already changing things.

“Yeah, Thor and some of the others took care of it, leaving the rest of us in the shadows, so to speak. The less we know,…” he trailed off, knowing that Nat knew what he was implying.

Before any of them could say anymore, both their mobiles pinged with a new message. It was from Clint, asking if they wanted pizza for dinner. Only then, they both realized that it had gotten rather late, and so they headed back to Clint’s apartment building.

Neither of them were actually surprised when they got into the apartment, only to be crowded by the door by Sam, Steve and Peter Parker. Always the protective one, Bucky put himself between them and Natasha, and was immediately joined by both Clint and Kate.

“Just so you know, Nat,” Clint began, “I told them,” he motioned his head in the direction of the three Avengers, “between Bucky, Kate and me, we have the situation under control. But of course, Mr. Control Freak here,” he fixed Steve with a glare, “had to see it for himself.”

“That’s not exactly the truth…,” Steve began, only to be interrupted by Bucky.

“But more than close, right, Steve?”

“Yep,” Peter quipped, not even slightly perturbed by the glare he received from Steve afterwards.

“Alright, everyone take a deep breath, like right now,” Sam finally grounded out, barely restraining himself from rolling his eyes at the antics of his teammates.

“Sorry,” Steve all but whispered. “But after Clint's call to Tony and their long talk, Tony told us about what Clint and Lucky had found in the park, but none of us really couldn’t believe it.”

“I get it, Steve, really,” Natasha said while getting out from behind Bucky’s back. “And while I still don’t know what has happened to my counterpart here,” at that, she saw something akin to pain flittering over both Sam’s and Steve’s face, “I only can assure you that I’m the real deal, the real Natasha Romanov. Just that I’m from a different reality to yours.”

At long last, the three Avengers loosened their stance, and from behind her, Natasha could feel all three inhabitants releasing a breath.

“Must be quite a shock to you as well, waking up in a world that, hopefully, looks the same, but yet it feels somewhat different?”

God bless him, but no matter what reality, Sam Wilson was a gift everywhere. One of the many things Natasha had come to appreciate about the Falcon.

“Yeah, it is, but there are also things that are better than in my reality.”

“Like what?” Peter quipped, and Natasha had to fake a cough to mask her laugh. This boy was too curious for his good, in any reality.

“Sorry for interrupting,” Clint threw in, “but how about we move this talk to the kitchen…,” Bucky shook his head, “…okay then, living room, and continue this all over some pizza.” At the mention of the Italian dish, Lucky’s ears perked up, which in turn left Natasha quite curious.

Half an hour later, she had her answer when she had to watch Clint feeding a whole slice of pizza to the dog, who munched on it happily. Sensing her eyes on him, Clint looked over to her.

“What? He already had that preference when I got him. Probably ‘taught’ by the cretins that had him.” He took a bite from his own slice, able to eat in peace now that the dog was satisfied. “And it’s not that I let him eat any spicy pizza at all.”

“I didn’t say anything,” Natasha gave back with a fond smile.

“No, but your eyes spoke all the louder,” Clint retorted with a wink.

“Stop it, you two,” Sam groused good-natured. “If we were at the Tower, I wouldn’t hesitate to tell you to get a room, but since we’re here…”

“If Tony wouldn’t beat you to it, Wilson,” Bucky threw in, the grin on his face going even wider when Sam rolled his eyes.

“Ah, Miss Romanov,” Peter began, only to be stopped when pretty much the whole group began to chuckle. “What? Mr. Stark doesn’t mind when I call him that way.”

“Well, Tony is Tony, of course he wouldn’t mind,” Natasha got out once her laughter subsided. “But you can call me Natasha, Peter.” The young man nodded eagerly. “But if I hear you calling me ‘Ms. Romanov’ once again…,” she trailed off, leaving the threat open. Peter, sweet, rather innocent boy that he still was somehow, visibly swallowed before giving her a curt nod.

“Anyway, Spidey, you wanted to ask Nat something?” Clint continued.

“Ah, yes, can you talk about your reality? I mean, if I got Dr. Banner right, this reality here is already changing, due to the fact that you are here.”

“I suspected as much, and yes, Peter, I can talk about it.” Natasha looked him straight into the eyes, and to her slight surprise, the young man did hold her gaze. “What do you want to know?”

Peter was apparently surprised by her candor, so Steve finally spoke up.

“What happened that caused you to do a dimension travel?”

At that, Bucky barely kept a groan in, but when Steve looked at him, he just shrugged at his best friend.

“As I told Bucky earlier, I died. Sacrificed myself for you all.” She was met with five pairs of eyes slightly widened with shock, and one pair filled with sympathy, giving her the strength to continue. “I don’t know anything about this reality’s Natasha’s character, but in my reality, you all, except for Kate, were more or less my family. We fought together, at least most of the time, we celebrated together, we mourned together and counted our losses together. And given the circumstances, it was, at least in that moment, the right thing to do.”

“How?” Sam got out, followed by Clint’s “What circumstances?”

“You mean how I died?” Wilson nodded. “I only can explain it by answering Clint’s question. Otherwise, you wouldn’t understand it.” She finished her slice of pizza, paying herself some precious moments to collect herself and doing a mental prep for opening that can of worms once again.

“Bucky told me earlier that you’ve all been introduced to the Tesseract, also known as the blue cube.” She got several head nods in response. “This is just the beginning of a series of events that ended up in my reality with half the population in the whole universe being snapped out of existence, turned into literal dust.”

“Remember that presentation we got from Strange when Loki and the cube showed up?” Bucky threw in, and Natasha was very glad in that moment that she already had part of the talk about with him.

“Yeah, but I don’t see…,” Steve began, only to be silenced by the glare Bucky sent his way, followed by “It will make sense, Steve, if you let Natasha continue.”

Steve didn’t say anything more, only motioned for Natasha to talk again.

“I also know that Strange told you about the six infinity stones. The Tesseract contains one of them, the Space Stone. Strange himself has another one, the Time Stone. All six together in one gauntlet are a deadly force, and in my reality, we failed to stop Thanos from gaining them all in the first place, leading to the aforementioned Snap.” She took a sip from her soda. “It took us five years to overcome the pain and grief,” she briefly looked at Clint at that, “and get a plan together to not only reverse the Snap but also to hopefully beat Thanos once and for all.”

“So what was your part in that plan? And how did you end up dead?”

Both Clint and Bucky uttered a soft groan at the hard edge to Steve’s voice, but Natasha could somehow relate to it. Now, being here, the whole plan they crafted back in her old reality seemed like one giant heist, which it probably was.

“My part was to go to a faraway planet named Vormir and retrieve the Soul Stone, together with Clint.” She saw the man in question shaking his head, so she quickly continued. “What we didn’t know until meeting the Keeper of the Stone was that you apparently had to sacrifice something dear to you to get it.” She heard both Peter and Kate sucking in a breath, but she didn’t pay any attention to them. Her whole focus was on Clint, who was staring at her in a mix of disbelief, disgust and hurt. “And Clint? Your counterpart really tried hard to fight me once he realized what I was about to do, but I just couldn’t let him sacrifice himself.”

“Why?” Kate asked, giving her mentor a side eye.

“Cause if the plan had worked as planned, Clint would have gotten his family back.”

“Family? Your Clint’s a taken man?” Sam didn’t even try to hide both amusement and surprise from lacing his voice.

“Yeah, a wife and three kids,” Natasha gave back, thankful for the small break.

“But you said he would get them back? Did they split?” Peter asked.

“No, Peter, I think she means that my counterpart lost them in the Snap, right?” Clint answered, one eyebrow raised.

“Yeah, and while I don’t know all the details, I do know that that loss sent him on a downward spiral no psychiatrist could cure. When I finally caught up with him in Japan, I was taken aback at how hollow his eyes were.” She locked gazes with this Clint. “Sorry if I make you uncomfortable.”

“Don’t be, Nat,” Clint replied. “But I demand some details on Mrs. Barton later.”

“You’ll get them, promise.”

“So, what can we do to prevent that from happening here?” Steve brought them back to the main topic.

“Doing what didn’t happen in my reality, cause we didn’t know about the stones and their connection until it was almost too late: finding them before Thanos and his army does.”

Shortly after, Steve, Sam and Peter left again, thanking Natasha for her explanations and asking her to eventually drop by the Tower to help them hatching a plan. Natasha somewhat agreed, though she was left with a strange tingling in her stomach. Hopefully, this reality’s Avengers were more successful in that venture and could stop Thanos before he gained too much power. She wasn’t sure if she could stomach another Snap, given that she would be once again among the survivors.

“You okay, Nat?” Clint suddenly spoke up beside her, causing her heartrate to go skyrocketing.

“God, Barton, warn a woman next time you want to sneak up on her,” Natasha exclaimed, putting a hand over her heart for emphasis.

“Why? Where’s the fun in it if you’re warned ahead?” Clint barely got out before he had to dodge a playful swing from Natasha.

“Hey!” Bucky called from the kitchen. “What’s going on? Do I need to put both of you in a time-out zone like some kindergartners?”

“No, not at all,” Natasha called back, her heartrate slowly getting back to normal. “Besides, I would never hit Clint on purpose – unless circumstances force me to do so.”

“Good to know,” the archer gave back before plopping down on the couch next to Lucky. “So, enough of infinity stones and plans and sacrifices. What about yourself? Any important people in your life?”

Natasha also sat down, on Lucky’s other side, and to her big surprise, the dog laid down between them, his hinder legs on Clint’s lap while his head landed in Natasha’s. The soft vibrations she could feel through her trousers got louder once she started to run her fingers through the dog’s soft fur. From behind her, she could hear Kate saying good night before leaving the apartment, and shortly later, Bucky joined them in the living room.

“What were you talking about?” he asked while placing three beer bottles on the small table and sitting down in one of the chairs opposite the couch.

“I was asking her if there were any important people,” Clint tapped his chest right over his heart, “in her, now, old life.” Bucky raised an eyebrow. “So far, no answer, thanks to this mutt here.”

“Could also be that her brain hurts from all the talking she had to do today,” Bucky countered.

“You’re both right, at least a little bit,” Natasha finally spoke up. “Yeah, Buck, my brain hurts a bit, but not as much as my heart at all the memories I brought up today. And yeah, Clint, your dog is very talented when it comes to distract someone.” Lucky looked up at her, his tongue lolling out. “But to answer your question – there wasn’t anyone. I mean, I had the Avengers as friends, including you, Clint, and over the years, other people were added, but there wasn’t anyone who could capture my heart. Not because they didn’t try, more because I didn’t let them.” She held up a hand, knowing that the guys were about to protest. “For a long time, I considered love as a weakness, as something that was for children, and that your opponents could use against you. Only after defecting to SHIELD, I slowly started to learn that I was wrong. But I was too jaded, too broken from my former life as a spy and assassin to think I was worthy being loved.” Natasha took a deep breath before continuing. “Now, looking back, I know that I wrong with that, too.”

“Damn right,” Bucky grounded out, his steel blue eyes fixing her in place. “I mean, if I can overcome that hurdle, even after 5 decades or so of brainwashing, you can do it as well.”

So they got him out almost 20 years earlier, Natasha noted after doing a quick math. If the information she got at the library were correct, it was probably the driving force that was Peggy Carter who helmed his rescue.

“Bucky’s right, Nat,” Clint took over, reaching across the dog’s back and grabbing her hand. “And since both Buck and I are single, we would gladly help you feeling worthy of love.” She saw the affirmative nod from Buck, and for the first time since waking up here, Natasha felt something akin to hope blossoming in her soul. Maybe this reality could become hers after all.

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The End

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End file.
